Happy Halloween!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! I'm gonna be a stripper....like my costume?

Here's an Idea...

As I sit here and listen to the pitter patter of rain drops on my greenhouse window in my kitchen, I've decided to post one final response to her latest post which you can read here. And, I do have one thing to say...

If you're tired of hearing about it, stop reading my journals! If you want me to "leave you alone" then just quit reading my journals! That's all it takes. It's a simple idea really.

I would also like to add that I believe this whole mess was started as a means to an end. Not by me mind you, but by Alicia. This whole thing was a way for her to get out of a "friendship" that she felt either trapt in [although I don't know why] or she simply didn't have the guts to say it to my face; so she had to make up a reason in her head. But, at least I say it out loud, and unambiguous....although I suppose I'll just be accused of not being tactful. Whatever.

One last song to finish it all off...

Don't Go Away Mad (Just Go Away)
by: Motley Crue

We could sail away
Or catch a freight train
Or a rocketship into outer space
Nothin' left to do
Too many things were said
To ever make it feel
Like yesterday did

Seasons must change
Separate paths, separate ways
If we blame it on anything
Let's blame it on the rain

I knew it all along
I'd have to write this song
Too young to fall in love <~~more friendship than anything
Guess we knew it all along

That's alright, that's okay
We were walkin' through some youth
Smilin' through some pain
That's alright, that's okay
Let's turn the page My friends called today
Down from L.A.
They were shooting pool all night
Sleeping half the day
They said I could crash
If I could find my own way
I told them you were leaving
On a bus to go away

That's alright, that's okay
We were two kids in love <~once again, friendship (or so I thought)
Trying to find our way
Thats's alright, that's okay
Held our dreams in our hands
Let our minds run away
That's alright, that's okay
We were walkin' through some youth
Smilin' through some pain
That's alright, let's turn the page
And remember what I say girl
And it goes this way

Girl, don't go away mad...
Girl, just go away


Go ahead, and press it if it'll make you feel better. For some people I suppose a quick fix is better than the real thing.

Bitter Much?

Thank you Anne Taintor.

I surely hope that THIS isn't something directed toward me. Because that would just be the pot calling the kettle black now wouldn't it??

Except for the whore part, cause I'm not one of those. And once again, it's not being vain if you're right, it's called being correct. Dang. Eh, fuck it, if I'm vain then I'm vain. Whatever. Until it's actually cleared up [directly to me] I'm just going to be vain.

But I am happy for you, now you belong. Really. That's what you wanted since you got here, just to belong. Now you can sleep better at night....and what a coincidence, so can I.

Godless...

Today, while driving home from work, I was being annoyed by a big car (2 cars ahead of me) that was going approx. 20 in a 25. Already in a slow zone and he's going slow. But, being that it was Poulsbo (possibly the retirement capital of the Northwest!) I let it slide because I was sure it was some old guy.

When he finally turned a corner out of my direct path, I saw his vanity plate. It read...GODSEES

This bothers me. Not personally mind you, but for the man. Because truly a life lived in that kind of devotion to God, is a life lived in fear. And that makes me sad.

Time to Burn Some Bridges of My Own...

With so many ideas for my blog today, this one was just too good to pass up! For anyone who reads my blog and the saga of Alica and I, I'm sure you read the blog "I'm Sorry, So Sorry"

This is a reply to that post in LiveJournal, from an Anonymous person, who apparently knows her from Texas....

Their reply was:
Subject: Don't worry, Alicia has always been two-faced!!
She's always been like that. You know, She used to be best friends with Carl's ex and talked about how shitty he was for the things he did to her right up until she decided she wanted to date him. Don't take it personal. She burns a lot of bridges.

Now, I don't want to scare anyone away; I just thought it was interesting that someone decided to use the term two-faced to describe Alicia with no persuasion. I meerly said that JESSICA was two-faced. And weather you believe it or not, it's true. So maybe you should get over it, you know who you are.

In light of this new comment, I thought a song was appropriate. I just love to dedicate songs to people, especially when they describe them so well. This one goes out to Alicia....Here's lookin' at you kid!

Not If You Were The Last Junkie On Earth
The Dandy Warhols

I never thought you'd be a junkie
because heroin is so passe.
But today,
if you think that I don't know
about depression and
emotional pain,
you're insane, or your
a fool who hasn't paid attention
to a word that I say.

In a way, I can't
help but feel responsible.
I always knew that you were insane
with your pain.

But I never thought you'd be a junkie
because heroin is so passe
now a-day.
You never thought you'd get addicted,
just be cooler in an obvious way.
I could say, shouldn't you have got
a couple piercings and decided
may-be that you were gay.

In a way
I can't help but feel responsible,
I always knew that you were insane
with your pain
But I never thought you'd be a junkie
because
heroin is so passe hey.(repeat)

P.S. Blocking people only makes them sure of the fact that you are talking shit about them. If you really wanted to be "grown up" about it, all that wouldn't matter; and you wouldn't give a shit who read your blog/journal. I'm just sayin...

It's So Me...

My mom unwittingly sent me this in an email...if she only knew...



I know it's not entirely accurate, but it's in the region! lol

Perpetually Fat

This post is about something that bothers me day in a day out. Probably because I'm closer to it than anyone I know who reads this. However, there may be someone who is reading this blog that understands [truly] where I am comming from.

From the time I entered high school, I started to gain weight. And from then on it's been an uphill battle. I think possibly my body just decided to shift in a direction that was more "genetically pleasing" and I became pudgy. Having always been small (a size 9 was really fat for me when I was in Jr. High, now I double that number) this was a huge psychological problem for me. Not only was I entering high school, the dreaded domain of the cheer leader and reign of the preppy gods, but I was also gaining weight. In the years to follow it made me utterly miserable.

Turning to my mother for support, I got nothing. Well, I suppose I can't say nothing, I got all kinds of bribes. I've been told "if you lose weight we'll send you to Disneyland!" or "if you lose weight we'll send you to Hawaii!" Right, just what I needed, something to make me feel worse about myself, and remind me how bad I look in a bikini, or even shorts for that matter.

It was these kind of parenting skills that lead me to crash diet just about every diet out there, that I could eat. Being allergic to several foods, I wasn't able to do the grapefruit diet and the like. Also, the ones I couldn't possibly afford have also been out of my reach, like Jenny Craig. Not that I want to be Kirsty Alley or anything, but I digres.

I've tried the eat every 3 hours diet, I've tried cutting out all the carbs aka the Atkins diet, I've tried eating nothing but a bag of M&M's and a Diet Coke, and I've even done it the healthy way by exercising 5 days a week for an hour and a half and eating correctly. Also among these diets have been an abundance of diet pills, from apple cider pills to TrimSpa to Metabolife and even Herbalife. But all to no avail.

Recently I've been diagnosed with a condition that is caused basically by being of child baring age (20-40 years old) and overweight, and they have no idea why it strikes some women and not others. It's called papiloedema, and it can cause me to go blind. The long and short of it is I have too much spinal fluid and it's causing pressure on my occular nerves. But, luckily I've been able to be set up with a nutritionist.

Finally, I'm hoping that it'll be someone that will tell me what I'm doing wrong and or right, and get me the fuck off of medication. Honestly, I could give two shits weather or not I lose a bunch of weight as long as I can get off of all the damned medication they've got me on.

I was told that seeing a nutritionist wasn't going to be covered by my medical insurance; but I have a sly doctor. He changed the wording around for me, and viola I've got a referal to see a nutritionist at no cost to me! I still have to call the guy; so we'll see if it turns out to be a real nutritionist or some guy that says to me "you need to eat less and exercise more!" bla bla bla...been there done that, it didn't work!

And just in case you're wondering, I'm not a fat lazy bitch that sits around the house and eats everything in sight because she's bored and then wonders why she's so fat. I work 2 jobs that frequently keep me out of the house for 12-15 hours of the day. At which time I don't eat at all. I eat breakfast before I leave for my first job, and then if I'm lucky I'll eat something for dinner when I get home.

I just get so tired of being stereotyped into that category of people who are fat because they eat too much and are lazy. I suppose I do have society and the media to blame for that one. And I'm not trying to be a cop out, but could I just be fat because I'm genetically pre-disposed?

I'm happy now, and I'm extremely lucky that I found a man that loves me weather I'm Kirsty Alley fat, or Lindsay Lohan skinny. He'd rather see me happy and healthy, but he loves me and thinks I'm beautiful no matter what; and for that I appreciate him more than I could ever express. And slowly, I'm peeling back the layers of damage done to me by my mom and her misguided attempts to "make" me lose weight. But somehow I can't help but think that this isn't my fault. Not that I don't want to take responsibility; because believe me I'd be the first to step in and stop whatever action I was doing that was making me fat if I knew what it was.

I dunno, I'm just so tired of being perpetually fat.

Fucking Pumpkins!

So, if you're thinking about carving pumpkins this year it's a great idea...really. However, you had better get started because Halloween is only a week away.

That being said, you see that really cool white pumpkin at the top of my blog? That was a fucking bitch and a half to carve! I did it, all by myself, with no electric saw or anything like that. It turned out pretty cool if I do say so myself. But the roughly 3 hours it took me to finish was torture!

Those fuckers have like a 3 inch thick rhind! I got it all gutted, and cut only to find out that the pumpkin saw I was using didn't penetrate deep enough to make the cuts all the way through! So a lot of it was done with a steak knife in the end. But it turned out pretty kick ass! I can't wait to put a candle in it tonight!

Just in case you're curious these are the "real" pumpkins we did also...



Leo did the skull on the top and I did the dracula thingy on the bottom. It was fun; and a definate must for our Halloween tradition.

I love this holiday! Even if it does include stupid white pumpkins!

YAY!

Tom Smykowski: Well alright, it was a "Jump to Conclusions" mat! It would be this mat, that you would put on the floor, and it would have different conclusions written on it, that you could jump to!

Michael: That is the worst idea I have ever heard in my life, Tom.

Samir: Yes, yes, it's horrible... this idea.

Hop Hop Hop! This is fun! I think I'll patent it since I'm so good at jumping to conclusions....Weeeeee....

I'm too tired for this shit tonight...In fact I'm just too tired for it for a really long time....


New Banter bla bla bla Click Here to See It

I'm Sorry....So Sorry....

Apparently, I'm so vain...because the blog was about me. I don't suppose that makes me vain, but it does make me right. Any way, here is my response to the recent snap in my direction in the recent post in Alicia's Live Journal.

And before I reply, I would like to add one thing...I DO HAVE A FUCKING PHONE! PICK IT UP AND ACTUALLY CALL ME LIKE A REAL HUMAN AND WORK IT OUT! 535-7436 or 440-1892! I know you have these numbers!!

Now, on to the rest.

I'M SORRY

that I ever stood up for you when Jessica would trash you behind your back.

that I went to your play and tried to be a supportive friend.

that I tried not to hurt your feelings by posting a nice comment where I thought you read my blogs.

that I was your first friend, when you didn't know anyone, and I stuck by you.

that I would listen to your constant jabbering about yourself, with no intermission (or care usually) for what was really going on my life.

that my husband helped your husband out, when other people on the boat called him unsavory names behind his back.

that you can't figure out how to call me and work shit out over coffee, or tea, or movie, or dinner, or simply conversation.

that I don't have a baby. (nuf said)

that I ever cared what was going on in your life, and asked you about it; even when you never did the same for me.

that I speak my opinions and it bothers you that I "have no tact."

that you never ONCE asked me to go to lunch and or tea with you at The Victorian Tea House...even though you and Jessica go there all the time.

that I stayed your friend after you made me feel like Jessica talking shit about other people behind their backs was my fault.

that you still never added me to your "friends list" on LiveJournal.

that I was supportive of every decision that you made, including Rocky, Modeling, Mary Kay, The Body Shop, Ebay, Sewing and this play.

But mostly, I'm sorry because you probably didn't even notice. And although I'm sure all of this sounds harsh, and like I "have no tact." I hope you can take a moment to reflect on these facts. I'm sure you've probably already written me off any way....I'm sure it's easy to do when you've become my enemy's new best friend. She's probably poured all kinds of poison in your ear.

Just a final thought for the day: Why the hell do people need other people in their lives to justify themselves? Why do we care so much what other people think of us? I suppose it doesn't matter when 2 of your "best friends" just write you off without a single thought about it. But I also suppose that I'll be just fine, and so will the rest of the world tomorrow when I open my eyes to a new morning.

Now, enough sappy shit, let's get on with the day!

FREAK!

My fat ass cat has gone too far! Tonight while sitting in my lap and getting pet, she started to sniff my hand. I thought nothing of it until she started to lick it; and then my thought was "aww how cute, she loves me" And then she bit me!

It was like she was trying to eat me! YIKES! Maybe I've let this fat thing get out of hand with her...

Bloggin Away...

I checked my friend Alicia's LiveJournal today, and she's written something about someone talking shit about her behind her back. **cough cough JESSICA cough cough** [Because she used to do so much of it before she became her new buddy (after I stopped talking to her).] Any way, I digres. I thought it would be funny to post something about her journal in my blog! So, in tribute to Alicia's Journal Entry...

You're So Vain...

You walked into the party like you were walking onto a yacht
You had strategically dipped below one eye
Your scarf it was apricot
You had one eye in the mirror
When you watched yourself gavotte
And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner
They'd be your partner and

You're so vain
You probably think this blog is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this blog is about you
Don't you don't you

You had me several years ago
When I was still quite naive
Well, you said that we made such a pretty pair
And that you would never leave
But you gave away the things you loved
And one of them was me
I had some dreams they were clouds (clowns?) in my coffe Clouds (clowns?) in my coffe
and

You're so vain
You probably think this blog is about you
You're so vain
I guess you think this blog is about you
Don't you don't you

I had some dreams they were clouds (clowns?) in my coffe
Clouds (clowns?) in my coffe and

You're so vain
You probably think this blog is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this blog is about you
Don't you don't you

Well, I hear you went up to Saratoga
And your horse naturally won
Then you flew your Lear jet up to Nova Scotia
To see the total eclipse of the sun
Well you're where you should be all the time
And when you'e not you're with
Some underworld spy or the wife of a close friend
Wife of a close friend and

You're so vain
You probably think this blog is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this blog is about you
Don't you don't you

HOLY CRAP! Clowns in my coffee?? It's scary enough that people have to communicate through blogs nowadays, but to add clowns to my coffee, that's just fuct up! Clowns scare the crap out of me!

I don't claim to be, or even really know who this person is she's talking about...because I'm not so vain....but I thought a tribute was in order...

This is not the greatest blog in the world...this is just a tribute!

holy crap, 2 song references in 1 blog, I'm good!

Recap and PS

Just a quick recap and a P.S. to anyone reading this. I love my friend Alicia, but the performance I saw yesterday could have been better. That's all I'm sayin.

They're Comming to Get You Barbara....GET OFF THE STAGE!

Today I FINALLY had the day off, so I got to spend some time with my grandma and my mother (before she leaves for Italy). I did my grandma's nails and then we went to lunch at The Victorian Tea Room in Port Orchard; incredibly cute and great food! Then we went to see The Night of the Living Dead at the Port Orchard Theater.

My friend Alicia is playing the role of Barbara in it and I've been wanting to go since it opened to see her act (having never actually seen her act although also having been reasured that she does it VERY well and should be on Broadway; according to her). She IM'd me this morning to tell me that there was a 2:30 matinee and that I should go, and like a good and obiedient friend I went.

Ouch! Personally I'm glad that I didn't pay the $10 fee to get in; luckily my grandma paid for all 3 of us. 3 Of the main characters kept stuttering through their lines (mind you this is not opening weekend), so the acting was a little sub par to say the least. Now, I can't say that I expect Broadway out of these people, or even really Seattle Theater out of them, they're doing it for free and for fun. But still, it was a little painful to watch.

Of corse the play was in grey scale; not a good choice. Half the people in makeup had only done a few body parts or the grey wasn't fully covering their skin. It was hard to look at it like it was in black and white. Also, they truncated it so much that you basically got a quick run down of a cult classic movie. So, I shouldn't be too terribly surprised when Alicia's "main role" got cut down to practically 10 lines. All of which were very overacted and a little too melodramatic for my taste. However, she can scream!

My friend Ray was also in the play, and for having such a small part, he was fantastic! But I've seen Ray act before and strongly believe that he should be acting in movies, or at least Broadway.

So, my official overview....If you're not doing anything for the day and need to kill roughly an hour and a half, and don't care how you do it, go see the play. But if you're looking for a really great show, I wouldn't bother this time.

They're Comming to Get Your Barbara....now GET OFF THE STAGE!

Sweet Sweet Revenge...

EVER HAVE ONE OF THESE DAYS?

I think I might be having one of these weeks. Although I might be more apt to point it at my head instead. I'm so fucking busy it's not even funny!

Tis the Season...

Today, for me, has been a pretty bad day. Just a series of disappointments really; followed by a very long car trip {alone} to Olympia to take my manicurist written test. Which I promptly failed in Lacey and had to drive back to Olympia to pay for again. Any way, long story short, it hasn't been good.

I can say however that the first thing that brought a smile to my face all day were two cars, or rather their lisence plates, on the way home. No, not in Olympia or even Tacoma, it was all the way out here in Silverdale.

I was getting on the freeway from picking up my schedule at Shari's and I got on the freeway behind a big black car with a lisence plate that said "BIRD". And I started to think to myself, how funny it's kindof like a big black crow (tis the season right?). Then not even 30 seconds later at the next on ramp a little yellow mazda sports car gets on the freeway with a lisence plate that says "CORN". I had to laugh at the irony of it all. The little corn car and the big black bird car. The only thing better would have been if the bird car somehow ate the little yellow corn car; or at least wrecked it, but it made me smile.

Like I said...Tis the Season...

In Your Face!

In your face DL Roope! I fucking passed my practical manicurist boards yesterday!! Stupid fucking bureaucratic, slimy, self serving, rude, obnoxious, self richeous bastards! I wish I had the money to sue their ass because if I had the time and money to go through the process I would put that fucking company out of business!

But they can all kiss my ass because I'm done with their bullshit and their not passing people (policy) because they don't like the way they look, or talk, or if they have tattoos etc. Fuck em all!

IN-YOUR-FACE!

Word of the Day

The word of the day is Moo.

moo - n :the sound made by a cow or bull v :make a low noise, characteristic of bovines

Fuck Yes I'll Eat It!

Today I am absolutely giddy with excitement!! I finally got enough time in my schedule to call some nutritionists.

Seeing as how I'm "going blind because I'm too fat" according to my bastard doctor; I figured I needed a good nutritionist. My dreams of skinny jeans were smashed when I called my doctor to get a referral to one. I was told that my medical insurance won't cover a nutritionist, even though I'm going blind because I'm fat and need to lose weight!! Fuckers!

So, today I finally got time to take matters into my own hands. I called and talked to 1 of the 2 in the phone book and she sounds like she really knows what she's talking about. And get this, not only can she help me lose weight, but she thinks she can help me with my (many) food allergies AND all my health problems!! I can't friggin wait!

She's sending me a little quiz thingy to help isolate where my problems are comming from (like my small intestine or kidneys), and she's also sending me some paperwork to fill out which includes a 3 day food diary.

I'm not saying that I'm too terribly jazzed about the possibility of having to become a vegitarian **cough cough Erika (Freak) cough cough** or worse having to eat everything raw. But at this point in my life I'm willing to try just about anything to get to stop taking all this damned medication, and fix my sinus problems; oh yea, and not go blind of corse.

So like I said before Fuck Yes I'll Eat It!

I've Been Gypped!

First, I'd just like to say that I'VE BEEN GYPPED!! Everyone on my block has these beautiful trees that are all turning wonderful colors of orange and yellow and red; as is the season of Fall. Here's what their trees all look like...



Now, not that I'm greedy or anything, but living in Washington State basically my whole life we don't get to see this that often. And my block is lined with these beauties.....except for my tree! I get the dead ass tree with not a single leaf! All the leaves in my yard are from the neighbors trees! This is what my tree looks like....



Now, to be fair, my tree looks like this year round, and normally it doesn't bother me. But I love the fall and winter seasons. And one of the main reasons I love the fall is because of the beautiful color changes. It seems like everyone gets to look out their little windows and see beautiful, colorful trees and I look out my window and see....dead, mossy branches.

Not to sound like I'm complaining too much, after all it is a free tree. But I do pay to live here (sortof) and I feel gypped! First crabgrass and now a dead tree. I suppose in about a month it won't matter, because everyone on the block will have a tree like mine. Maybe I'll just look at it as trend setting.

Yea, trend setting....I've always been a trend setter, I'm just getting a jump on it this year!

Now, a few words on the meaning of the word "gypped" just in case you're curious

The verb gyp, meaning 'to cheat; swindle; defraud' and usually found in the passive, is one of those words that has received attention due to the possibility of offending ethnic sensitivities.
Gyp is derived from Gypsy. Though the noun Gyp meaning 'a Gypsy' has always been very rare, the noun gyp meaning 'a thief or swindler', first recorded in the 1850s, has been relatively common for most of the century, and gyp verb, from 1880, is quite common indeed.

First, we should observe that the very word Gypsy is sometimes objected to. This word is derived from Egyptian, under the mistaken belief that the Gypsies were from Egypt. (In fact they are originally from northern India.) The people refer to themselves as the Roma, after Rom 'a Gypsy man', ultimately derived from a Sanskrit word meaning 'a low-caste musician'.

In relatively recent times--since the mid-1980s or so--some people have objected to the word gyp on the grounds that it is offensive to the Roma, since it stereotypes them as swindlers. It should be noted that the word gyp has apparently never been used as a deliberate ethnic slur, and many people are unaware even that gyp is derived from Gypsy. Thus gyp may be perceived as offensive, but it is never used with such intent.

Now, don't you all feel enlightened??

Jennifer Tilly is Gummy

While watching the usual boring tv tonight I came to a realization. Jennifer Tilly is indeed desperate. I always thought she was; I mean if starring in Chucky movies so far past their time **cough cough Seed of Chucky cough cough** isn't enough to convince you, she's now doing gum commercials.

Yes, that's right folks, she's trying to make gum sexy! I had to throw back my head and let out a big hearty laugh as the Dentyne company made a very sad attempt to sex up their product. HA! It's frickin gum, come on, how sexy can chewing on a piece of wet, soft, sweet and tasty substance be? Oh....right....nevermind.

Ahem! Any way, the commercial goes something like this....A piece of Dentyne Ice strips off it's "hard" outer shell to become a soft and chewy new piece of gum. While Jennifer Tilly tries her damndest to make it sound sexy.

I may be mistaken, but shouldn't it be the other way around that's arousing? Soft to hard?

Now, I don't know, I've never tried this new gum; it may be very tasty. However, I do like the crispity crunchity (insert peanut buttery when appropriate...mmMMMMmmm Butterfinger!) outer shell of Dentyne Ice. I think it gives it a little more substance, and fun! But hey, who am I to say that the new soft gum isn't great? Who am I to say that going from hard to soft isn't the new sexy?

Personally, I prefer them hard.