I'm a Bad American

This is one of my favorite emails. And it's from one of my favorite famous people. And now for your reading pleasure George Carlin...

YES, I'M A BAD AMERICAN
by George Carlin



I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George Carlin.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid level governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!

I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way!

I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you an American. If you use that gun in a crime I think you should be shot by the police.

I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything.

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it in English.

I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July. If you blow yourself up that's just thinning the hurd.

I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put you through 4 years plus of college, you haven't begun to be enlightened.

I believe everyone has a right to pray to God when and where they want to.

My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever canceled Jerry Springer.

I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.

I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.

I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when I'm freezing during these long winters and paying, paying, paying?

I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years In the desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shutup already.

I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson practices, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?

I think the cops have every right to shoot you if you're running from them.

I also think they have the right to pull you over if you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.

And, no, I don't mind having my face shown on my drivers license. I think it's good.....and I'm proud that "God" is written on my money.

I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.

I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me junk or trying to guilt me into making "donations" to their cause. These people should be targets.

I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.

And what is going on with gas prices... again?

If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.

If you are a BAD American too, please forward this to everyone you know.

We need our country back

Ragin Roads

So what the hell is up with road rage? I just don't understand what comes over people, or me for that matter. Usually I'm pretty good about containing it, but sometimes the rudeness of people just gets to me and I want to beat the shit out of the person in the next car.

Today, I was driving and came to a stop, turning right. Well the idiot turning left pulled up and blocked my view so I couldn't see the oncomming traffic. This actually pissed me off so bad that I yelled out my window "I can't see the fucking traffic around your fat ass SUV!" Her window was cracked so I'm half positive she actually heard me. Usually I keep these spurts of rage inside my vehicle because the windows are up; however, this being summer I suppose everyone is now subject to my ranting and raging.

Now, I can understand a little outburst in your car, to yourself or the person riding shotgun (no pun intended) or even the radio. But what I just can't fathom are the people who actually take it so far as to shoot someone, or even drag them out of their vehicle and beat them so senseless that they're in the hospital fighting for their lives.

I don't know any amount of pissed off that would push me to such an action. But then again I've never been in a fist fight. Not that I havn't wanted to, and not that I couldn't fight dirty enough to do some real damage. But to actually act on it is something that has never truly crossed my mind.

I suppose a lot of it has to do with where you grew up, and how you were raised. But is that really an excuse for not being able to exercise self control? And what is it really that causes someone to get so pissed off at being cut off or even passed on the freeway? You're not going to actually get there any slower than a few nanoseconds, if that. And honestly, where the fuck are you going in such a hurry? I suppose there are good answers to the last question; but when you're headed to the grocery store is it really necessacary to cut people off to get their 1 second or even 5 seconds ahead of the rest of the people on the road; who probably aren't even headed to the grocery store?

I suppose these are all questions that are posed for the masses, and more so for the psychologists of the World. I don't suppose we'll have an answer any time soon, because it's not nearly as important as stem cell research, or why a child molester does what they do. But still a question that I think should really be answered soon is "Why are we so angry all the time?"