It's Official...

"The human eye is the organ which gives us the sense of sight, allowing us to learn more about the surrounding world than we do with any of the other four senses. We use our eyes in almost every activity we perform, whether reading, working, watching television, writing a letter, driving a car, and in countless other ways. Probably most people would agree that sight is the most precious of the five senses, and many people fear blindness more than any other disability."

Finally after a week of waiting for the damn doctor to call me, I got through to his office. Which conveniently closes at 4 friggin 30! I called on Friday at 4:34! Any way, I'm starting on my medication to treat my papiloedema. I really sux, but this way I shouldn't lose my sight.

I suppose I'm actually looking foreward to someone professional having to tell me why I'm so fat, and what I can do to fix it; because between you and me I've tried just about every damned thing on the fucking planet and can't seem to get rid of it. So, here's hopin!

Support Gay Marriage

I don't usually post this kind of stuff because I hate it when other people do it. But I thought it was great!

10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were
allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans

HAHAHAHA I just love the closed minded don't you?

Now, Children

Having turned on the Emmy's tonight, like I'm sure over half of America did, I was plagued by something. This happens every time I watch a "live" show. That damned warning at the bottom of the screen RECORDED FROM AN EARLIER BROADCAST. DAMNIT!!

Having grown up on the west coast, and still living here, I should come to expect it; but it still pisses me off. I feel like we're the children of the US. The east coast gets to view the live show before we see it; and then without doubt all the badness is bleeped out by the time it gets to us! Which explains why I never got to see Janet Jackson's nipple.

And, I get immensely irritated when something like this come across the screen... ALL PHONE LINES ARE NOW CLOSED TO VOTING...Not that I wanted to vote for the REALLY stupid Emmy Idol performances, but come on! I can't even vote! Don't I count!?! And when it comes to shows like American Idol, I could simply call someone on the east coast and find out who got kicked off, they find out before I do, simply because they're on the right coast.

Why can't they just make it all be on at the same time everywhere? It could be on here at 5, instead of 8, and then show it on the east coast at 8. I mean it's on a Sunday; if you're at work you don't have the typical 9-5 day any way and would probably have missed it any way.

Oh well, I suppose until I move to the east coast (maybe never) I'll have to settle with being America's Child.

I'm Tapped

For the rest of the world that doesn't know what's going on in my life, I've recently been battling the notion that I may have a condition called papiloedema. Where basically my body has decided that it's going to make me go blind....and according to the doctor only because I'm "fat" and of child bearing age. Or I could just have something called pseudo-papiloedema which is totally different, and causes me to see spots in my left eye for the rest of my life; but I won't go blind and there's nothing they can do about it.

So, if it's the 1st (and more ominous) of the two, I can be put on medication and it can be fixed if I lose weight and keep taking my medication; then I won't go blind...or be "fat" any more! YAY! But there's a catch...I had to have a spinal tap.

Ok, I figure I can handle this. After all, at the ripe ole age of 23 I've had 4 major surgeries (one of which my uncle had and ended up with holes in his brain), and I have been on numerous medications for as long as I can remember. Oh yea, I'm fallin apart, and this is just one thing in a long line of crap that's been happening lately. But I digress...

So, today was the big day, I was going to have my first spinal tap. And after everyone telling me that it was going to be really painful, and they were going to put this 4 foot needle into my back (not really, but everyone made it sound that way) I was a little nervous. Until I got to the hospital. They had me put on the hospital gown and wait in a bed while they beraded me with about a bajillion questions, and asking me the same ones over and over and over again.

Finally it was time to be wheeled into the room, and luckily for me Leo got to go with me! The nurse in there, Nichole, was very nice and very cool, so that helped. I had to crawl up on to this table and lay face down with a pillow underneath my stomach, and Leo had to wear this lead apron. He looked kinda like a Ken Doll, like he had ambiguous male parts underneath! lol

They cleaned my back and put down the little surgical curtian, and then pumped me full of Lidocaine. That was really the worst part of it all. After that was done, I don't think I really felt much of it. I kinda felt the needle go in, but I refused to look at the "x-ray" of my back as he guided the needle to the hole in my spine. Then it was time to pull it out. It hurt, but in a weird way, let me explain. You know when someone scratches their fingernails on the black board and it "hurts" but not really physically, that's kindof how it was. But that was over quickly.

I got to see the liquid that they pulled out. It looked like he had stuck a needle in me and pulled out water! It was crystal clear, and fluid just like water, not thick like blood. It was pretty cool actually.

At this point I'm feeling a bit like a keg just having been tapped; but it's all over and time to get up and go back to the "recovery" room. I could walk afterwards, and got to change back into my clothes quickly. I ordered a sandwich for lunch from the hospital (free food!), and then we went home about a half hour after the procedure.

I've gotten a good headache from the whole ordeal, but now...I go to 11!

Tent Bonding...FINALLY!!

FINALLY!!

Leo and I spent a better part of the afternoon looking for a suitable tent to bond with the sugar babies in. Finally we settled on a small one from Big 5 that was $20. I wish I could have found that elusive $10 one that everyone keeps telling me is out there. We saw some small ones (you know the kid play houses) that were $15 but they all had velcro closure, and I didn't want a houdini on my hands.

Any way, I spent over an hour with them in this tiny tent. And it worked! Well, for the most part. My male (Stitch) was really curious and at the end was crawling all over my head, and even jumped onto my face! lol It scared me and I let out a small yell, and I think I freaked him out a bit. Woops. Even though he was all over me and exploring, I have 4 sore spots on my fingers where the little bugger broke the skin! And those are the only places he broke the skin. OUCH!! I'm really trying not to pull away, but when that happens he draws blood, and not just a little bit he draws pretty major blood.

Poor Lilo was terrified in the corner for most of the encounter. So, unfortunately it didn't work so well for her; not this time any way. I think we're making progress though, cause I only got crabbed at twice, once when I took them out of the pouch and once when I uncovered her from a towel on the floor. They were so cute burrowing underneath the towel and making little tunnels!

Any way, I'm going to be doing this pretty much every night until I get to a good place where Lilo trusts me and Stitch stops biting. YAY it was so fun!

Dick Cheney and My Mom....Conspiracy...

So, I think my Mom and Dick Cheney are in on a conspiracy to ruin my life....well, maybe not ruin it intentionally but seperately they're doing a good job.

Any way, today I got my confirmation. My Mom calls me up and says (this is actual commentary from the conversation)

"Guess who called me!?!"

and so I said jokingly "I dunno, Jesus!"

and she ACTUALLY SAID TO ME "CLOSE!...Dick Cheney!!"

"Now I know you're deluded." I said, but humoring her at the same time.

Apparently my Mom sent an invitation to a BUNCH of people for my Dad's commissioning ceremony for warrant officer in the Navy. And Dick Cheney actually called her to RSVP that he couldn't make it, but contratulations any way. Weird!

She allegedly sent these invitations out to other famous people such as George W. himself and even Robin Williams (because he used to be in the Navy on submarines). She was actually a little peeved that the president hasn't RSVP'd yet. Although Robin Williams has, unfortunately he won't be there (surprise, surprise). But it was nice of him to actually send in the card declining the invite.

So, in conclusion now I know that my Mom is in on some crazy shit; she's even talked to the vice president! Just ask her, she'll tell you everything!

The Last Hold Out

First, a little background on my relationship with my best friend Chris. I've known him since I was in 7th grade, and we've been friends since 8th.

He's probably the only person I still talk to from high school, that hasn't moved out of the area for several different reasons, the #1 being joining the Navy.

Now, that being said, he's my last friend that has joined the military. I have some mixed feelings about it really.

I'm happy for him because I think that the Navy is a great career move, and it will finally provide him with some stability; not to mention get him the fuck out of Port Orchard, WA.

But I'm a little sad, because he was the last hold out. I thought maybe I had found a friend that would remain outside of the military system; if only for himself, because the rest of his family is basically all in the Navy.

I suppose it's all for the best, and I'm happy for him no matter what. But I will miss him when he's stationed far away from me.

Piercings

Well today started off relitively normal. Until my friend Erika called me to invite me to a bachelorette party. It all seemed innocent. So I went about my day since the party wasn't until 8pm.

I applied for her baker's position at Shari's, which pays $10/hr! And we even hung out a few hours before the party. Now, this is where it starts to get interesting.

The party was at a piercing and tattoo place. And really you can't expect me to spend close to 3 hours in one of those places without getting anything done...anyway, it started out as a Passion Party. And then there was supposed to be a stripper.

Well, feeling bored because the stripper didn't show, we started to talk about piercings. And actually I'm more of a tattoo person than a piercing person, but either is fine with me. Eventually the conversation turned to clit piercings. Something I had never really considered getting myself; not that I wouldn't but just not something I had ever considered.

The Passion Paries consultant got hers done tonight, and that fueled the conversation even more. Now, just in case you didn't know clit piercings run around $80, and that kind of money I didn't have. Which I thought was my saving grace until Erika told me she'd pay for mine if I got it done with her.

Never to be one to turn down a free body art offer, I accepted her "dare" and the next thing I know we both had it done! She went first, and of corse she got the guy who does it all the time, and hers was quick and less painful than mine. Then I get the guy who hardly ever does this piercing, and I've got both men down there looking at areas of my body that have only seen a doctor and my husband in the last 3 years! The first guy couldn't do it on his own, so the other guy had to help him; which translates into slowly piercing a very tender part of my nether regions! Of corse it was only probably about 5 seconds of pain, but that was a bitch. Now, it's sore, but that's to be expected I'm sure.

So, in a recap, my evening turned from an innocent bacheolorette party to getting my clit pierced. Of corse I'll be giving Erika free fills on her nails for a few months, but I think it was all worth it to do something I would have never done on my own. Yikes!

Sign Your Life Away

So, finally last night Jay Leno wasn't a rerun, as it has been for about 2 weeks now. And I was SO excited! Or something like that...Any way, he's raising money for hurricaine katrina by having these celebrities sign this Harley and then he's going to auction it off. And it got me thinking, "What would it be like if you could make money just by signing stuff?"

I mean think about it, just because this Harley is signed by people like Samuel L. Jackson and Billy Crystal the value on it is going to double if not more, instantly. Not to mention the fact that it's going to be auctioned off for charity, and those kind of auctions almost certianly go for WAY more than what you'd normally pay for something. I can't imagine what it would be like to have your signature be famous.

It's one of the simplest things that you can do, just sign your name, like you did a thousand times, and it's worth money. And if you're a really big actor it's worth a lot of money! Holy crap!

I wonder what it would be like to be famous just for your signature? You didn't have to be famous or anything, just sign shit and people want to buy it for lots of money. That would be great!

Popularity Contest

What the hell is up with friendships lately? I just don't get it. When I was in high school, my sophomore year, I was really popular. I mean, people I didn't even know knew who I was and would talk to me at random. It was great. And then it all changed my junior year when I went to the college instead of the high school, and all of my cool friends stayed behind. I lost them all. It was tragic really.

But, having been 5 years out of high school I've come to realize I still havn't gained that popularity back. I find myself struggling to get friends back that I havn't spoken to in years, just so I won't be alone. I mean, I'm not truly alone, I am married, but a girl needs some girl friends now and then.

I do have Erika, and that I'm greatful for. But lately I find myslef scrambling to get someone else to talk to because she's leaving me. Which happens in the Navy, they all go away eventually. And I will to, but I still have a year left in this god forsaken shit hole known as The Peninsula. For the most part I hate Navy wives. Just as soon as I find a cool one they move away from me, or become the devil incarnate. IE Erika and Alice moving away, or Jessica turning into the biggest bitch this side of the Mississippi.

All hope is not lost however, my husband is headed to the USS Alaska Gold next week. Erika is only going to be roughly 2 hours away, and I've finally made contact with a friend of mine from a long time ago. All I can hope is that there are some cool wives on the new boat. Here's hopin!

Nastiness in a bowl

I am a HUGE Batman fan! Let me just get that out of the way right now.

So, when I was in the grocery store yesterday I jumped at the chance to buy the new Batman cereal. It looked sortof like Coco Puffs but the puffs were bats and they added white marshmallows. Sounds great right? Wrong.

Not only does it taste a lot like burnt butter with a hint of sugar; it tears up the roof of my mouth worse than ANY brand of Capn' Crunch. I am sad, I had so hoped it would be fabulous. Like I said, I am a HUGE Batman fan.

Now I'm never going to live down the "Why do you need to buy that crap?!?" I got from my husband when I threw it into the cart yesterday.