I suppose I'm feeling a little home sick. I couldn't tell you why. When I left home, I only really kept in actual contact with 2 friends that I'd known since school days; and that was sketchy. I'm terrible at making new friends, and working from home didn't bode well for making friends since I'm not a huge fan of Navy wives. Needless to say when I left Washington I had so few friends I could count them on a hand and a half, sometimes more and sometimes less depending on moods.
Maybe I'm a little too good at weeding out friends. But I also happen to know that they're really good at weeding me out. I've had friends just up and hate me for no reason. In fact, this happens so often that I've gotten an actual complex from it. When I don't hear from a friend for a week, or they stop returning my calls; I immediately assume that they're mad at me for some reason. Then I pour over the things that I've done and said over the past weeks to make sure I haven't stuck my foot too far down my throat to salvage a relationship. Only to find out that it was something as mundane as a dead cell phone battery; a lost cell phone; or they were simply out of town. Heaven forbid they have a life.
So, while I'm feeling homesick, I couldn't tell you why. I don't even want to go home to visit family. The only family I still have living in Washington are my aunt (and cousins), and my grandma and grandpa. My aunt is so busy she can't answer my emails, and my grandma isn't even in Washington right now, she's down in California.
So, it's not family drawing me home. It must not be friends either...of the people I still talk to back home one of them is even gone. I don't even think I'd have a place to stay, I'd have to get a hotel somewhere. How sad is that? When you can't even go home? And being displaced feels more and more like home every day?
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