Fuck Navy Housing!

So, I picked up my spiffy little brocure thingy that the new housing office passes out to all the houses on base and decided to actually read it. Mostly out of boredom. I came across a small article that pissed me off!

First a small background on Halloween at my house....I decorate for Halloween bigger than ANY holiday of the year, this includes Christmas. I decorate so big, I had a neighbor ask me when I was putting my decorations up this year because I hadn't done it as early as I usually do. Long story short, BIG decorations and lots of time and money spent to make them kick ass!

This is the little blurb I ran across today "Thanks for the Holiday Scare" this bullshit article recognizes 5 houses on base that had the best Halloween decorations this year. I didn't make the top 5 at all! WTF!?!?! Noone from my block made the list. My housing 4-plex was the only house on the block with serious decorations on it! And I didn't even see any big and or cool decorations anywhere else on base!

This kind of shit pisses me off! That's my fucking holiday! And now, I have to REALLY decorate for Christmas and then maybe I'll get some kind of recognition for that....but I doubt it. Fuck Navy Housing!!

Gingerbread Man...

Run run as fast as you can...
You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread man.....'s contractor!

This is my house that I'll be decorating for the traditional gingerbread house decorating that we do every year. I'm gettin all elaborate and shit!

It's a 2 story, upper middle class house in the suburbs held together entirely with frosting! And yes, that is a gazebo on the side.

Fuck You Very Much...Sincerely, The Karma Fairy

So, the last couple of days have been GREAT! Leo's boat broke, so I got to see him on Friday night. He surprised me at work with flowers, it was a very nice surprise. I've been getting to spend some unexpected time with him and that's always nice when he's supposed to be gone for 3 months.

This morning I got to sleep in; and that's where this day ends with happiness and goodness. Leo has duty so he went to work and I didn't get to see him today (of corse today is the only day this week they didn't have to go in if they didn't have duty). I woke up at 11, and housing was supposed to come out and do a "safety check" on my garage door at 1. Ok great. I have lots of things for them to fix. Well, the guy got here at 1, and was immediately an asshole. Do I have the stereotypical I'M A NAVY WIFE tattoo on my forehead?? Because he was totally condescending to me, treating me like I was a lazy idiot. Let's just say, by the time he left, nothing was fixed and I wanted to drive a lawn dart through his ears and murder him in my driveway! I'm not a fucking moron, and I didn't deserve to be treated like I was.

Then, I left to get a paper so I could get the fliers for the after turkey day sales. Being a Sunday, I put my $1.50 into the newspaper machine. It didn't open. FUCK!! So, I went inside only to find out that they couldn't refund my money because it was "private property" and they "couldn't even post a sign on it telling people that it was broken." So, not only do they know it's broken, but they're going to let people continue to put money into it and do nothing about it!

So, I went to Safeway to get a paper. While in the parking lot I was almost hit by a ton of carts that a [rather young] employee yanked out of the parking lot cart holder and almost into my car. I slammed on my brakes, only to get shot a death glare from the little snot like it was my fault she wasn't paying attention and almost fuct up my car!! Safeway didn't have any newspapers, they were sold out. Figures.

So, I made my way to Albertsons; who apparently doesn't carry any kind of newspaper. So I gave up and rented some movies at Blockbuster. On my way home, I made a last ditch effort to get a paper by stopping at the last gas station; they had a paper, so I bought one.

I got home and everything was fine for a while. Leo got to come see me for like 5 minutes. Just long enough for me to rant about my pitiful day (up to that point) and then he had to leave. The small sunbreak in my day. After he left I put in a movie and relaxed. Figuring [stupidly] that if I stayed home no more bad shit would happen.

I got a call from my grandma to confirm that we were going to Curves in the morning at 7; yes. Oh, and by the way, she says to me "Rich (my grandpa) spent all last night in urgent care; one of his lungs is totally filled with fluid, and he has to have a CAT scan (or MRI or something) to see what's wrong. We don't know what it is, and why it's happening, but the doctor seems really worried....I'm not supposed to tell anyone so don't say ANYTHING to your Mom or aunt!" He had a huge spike in his blood pressure last week, but they didn't find anything wrong; so they're thinking that the two are related. Now, I'm worried about my grandpa; whom I've just started to have an actual relationship with. We always had an unspoken bond, but since they moved up here it's gotten much stronger. And now I'm really worried!

To top all of this bullshit off, dinner is making me feel like I have to puke! This fucking sux!

"Dear Tamara:

Fuck you very much!

Sincerely,
The Karma Fairy

P.S. There are no Day After Thanksgiving ads in today's paper."

Get off Your Ass and Parent!

So today, while putting away the mountains of clothing that lay on my bed, I had the news on in the background for noise. All of a sudden they start talking about teenagers and getting on these "bad" chat sites, I didn't hear much after that cause I usually start to tune out at that point. However, this time it was different. They started talking about MySpace.

I have a MySpace profile, and I don't personally understand what's so horrible about it. The news was making alligations like "the site is full of sexy profiles and inappropriate talk, and your journal is out there for everyone to see....and reportedly a young girl who was killed (just last week or something) met her killer on MySpace..." Then they go into the schools are getting involved to get children to stay away from these kind of sites...

Wait a minute...MYSPACE??.....you've got to be kidding right? The site is freaking harmless, and you can't do anything there that you couldn't do on AOL or Yahoo or any other major site. In case you get curious and want to check it out, here is a link to My Profile on MySpace.com.

Any way, the schools are starting to ban it in school and not letting kids go to the site; and I'm all for that idea. Really, it is school, and what are they doing on the internet fucking around any way? But the schools are urging parents to take action and keep their kids away from "dangerous" sites like MySpace! This is the part where you throw back your head and let out a hearty laugh **HAHAHAHAHAHAHA**

My biggest concern with all of this is, if you're going to allow your child to "surf the net" at home or at school, then you need to know where they're going. Unless you want them going to dangerous sites like MySpace and Yahoo and AOL and GoatFuckingLesbians.....The point is, get off your lazy ass and make sure your kids aren't going to any sites you don't want them to go to! How fucking hard is that?? Parents lately (some exceptions of corse) just want to let someone else raise their kid and then blame them when the kid turns out all fuct up. So, if you don't care that your kids look at porno sites, and the even more dangerous sites like MySpace and ChristianityToday.com then let them look at it...but if you care so much about it, quitcher bitchin and GET OFF YOUR ASS AND PARENT!

Goodbye...

I've done this countless times. I don't know why it still makes me want to cry, even though I promised I wouldn't. I'm going to miss the hell out of him while he's gone.

Welcome to the Family!

I just got a new tattoo last night! I've finally gotten the Isis tattoo that I've been lusting after for like a year and a half. And it is beautiful! Hurt like a sonofabitch, but that's because it's my biggest one so far and it took him almost 3 hours to finish (that's a lot of ink in one session!). It stands approx. 7 or 8" by about the same. The eye of Ra was already there, I just had her put around it.

Love it. Worship it. Envy it. Come on....you know you want one!

The guy that did it was kick ass! (I got it done at The Golden Rule in Silverdale) His name is Tony, and he's done some work for my friend Alice. While I was there just chatting it up, while he dug a needle into my flesh to scar me with beautiful ink, he asked me what I did. So I told him I was a nail tech, and he got all excited, because he loves manicures and pedicures. And, I think we'll be trading services; manicures and pedicures for tattoo's! YESSSSS!

All the cool kids are doin it. You wanna be cool don't ya? Just another in a long line of artwork that will make me a much prettier corpse when I die.

Cackling Hens in Chat Groups...

I don't know why I feel the need to keep up on the postings in the "Navy Wives in Washington" chat group on MySpace. I feel like it's a room full of 19-25 year old cackling hens. Talking about their kids, and their new Avon/Partylite/Mary Kay/Tupperware/Pampered Chef/whatever the flavor of the week "work from home" job is, so they can stay home with their babies and be "good mommies" bla bla bla.

I tried Mary Kay, that company blows! Their morals are seriously fuct up for being a "christian" corporation. Although, maybe that's what ruined it for me, never was big on religion. ***gagging on the religious propaganda shoved down my throat at those stupid meetings***

But I digress...

Being 23 (24 in December), it's not easy to say "19-25 year old cackling hens" without scrutiny. But, honestly, I tend to think (without bias of corse) that I talk and think like someone roughly 10 or so years older than I am. But I can't help but click on that stupid icon when it pops up on my Groups section when a new post has been made. I don't care about their really boring lives. Maybe it's because it's different from mine. I do have to say that there is something strangely fascinating about those type of Navy Wives. There could be a whole psychological case study on them. I would LOVE to see the results of that! HA!

Just a rant, because I'm bored and a little shocked at myself for having to keep up with something so stupid. **sigh**

Estrogen Ocean

While working at the salon the other day there were about 5 of us [women] just sitting around and making the man on the phone feel like a piece of meat....man meat that is! Apparently he's a super hot Ukranian man, whom I have never met, but undoubtedly will at some point.

So we're all sitting around and being loud and obnoxious women, when Kerry (my "boss") says "I should write a book and call it The Estrogen Ocean!" Good idea! In fact, I like the name of it so much I'm debating on changing my blog title to it.

The whole point of this post is, I LOVE MY JOB! My boss rocks, and I make near $20 an hour!

Anyone want to come surfing on the estrogen ocean? Highly recommended for gay men and women only.

What if?

Living in the Northwest affords many things. Chief among them is the beautiful scenery. We tryly have post card views. But lately, those beautiful views have been covered by a heavy blanket of clouds; which usually happens this time of year.

I absolutely love the rain. Having grown up here, I'm used to it, and it puts me in a good mood. Usually when I say this people look at me like I've all of a sudden grown another head and am simultaniously eating a live goat. But lately this rain has got my imagintion running. And I began thinking what if...

What if the clouds lifted one day and the Olympic Mountains (that we're all so fond of looking at) were suddenly gone? I'd like to think there'd be mass pandemonium. But I get the feeling that if you paid the news off to keep it out off tv that noone would really notice. We're all so glued to our tv's that something as large as a chain of mountains could disappear and noone would even think twice about it if the news didn't do a report on it to confirm everyone's fears.

I'd like to think I would notice, but thinking about it real hard, I'd probably just think it was another cloudy day and those beautiful peaks are simply hiding and waiting to come out on another day. Of corse, after a few days (possibly weeks) I would start to take notice. As I'm sure would the rest of the World. And then it'd get blamed on the Iraqi's as some sort of terrorist act. Maybe we could just blame David Blane instead....wait a minute...he's not that good.

The point is, if you're going to steal my mountains make sure you're not an Iraqi.

No limits...

MMmmmmMMmmm Yummy yummy Spam...well, not when it's comming at you at the speed of light and sound; as in, comming at you from your computer screen. I was a telemarketer for roughly 2 years, so I sympathize with those folks. I really do, they're just doing their jobs and trying to earn a buck. A hard earned dollar I might add.

ButI digress...

I've got a pretty good spam filter on my email. And still this shit gets in! Somehow I got signed up for some sort of SEXUALLY EXPLICIT site, and they won't stop spamming me; even though their emails go straight to my spam folder. And, honestly spam seems pretty pointless to me. Who really opens those emails and then clicks on the offers?!? To me, it just seems like a money scheme.

Noone is paid to send those out, they're computer generated, and then sent out automatically. And today, I got spam in my inbox on MySpace! Friggin spam on MySpace! Oy! I didn't bother me so much, as the prospect that someone wanted to send me a message, and I got my hopes all up...damnit!

Spam has no boundaries...

I have an affinity...

I've recently discovered that I've got an affinity toward great writers. Now, a statement like this may seem a little silly, or even stupid. I mean, really, who doesn't like a good writer, or a good book for that matter? And very rarely you'll find someone who says that they "Love a terrible book, written by a horrific writer!" But I mean that my affinity steers more toward the unknown writer.

I discovered blogs mostly because a friend of mine did one, and then I decided that I would try and keep one myself. Having had some success with this; albeit not always a great read, I've been pretty good about keeping it up. Which is a first for me, because I was NEVER very good at keeping a journal. And when I was good at it, I would re-read it and find it extremely boring...

"I went to school today, and Brad didn't even notice me..."
"I'm so in love with Chris this week, if only I weren't 13 and trying to grow up before my time."

You know typical teenage girl bullshit.

But lately, I've found that I like to read other people's blogs about their lives and their stories. Maybe it's the voyer in me, but if it's written well, I just love to read it. Now, don't get me wrong, I've read the really boring shit...it's usually something like I used to write in my journal....but lately I've found some really good writers.

If you're a little bit of a cyber peeping tom (like myself) then check out these blogs...
Camp Creepy
Stockparade
They Got a Pepper Bar (Monk)

These are just 3 of my favorites that I keep up on. Enjoy!

Happy Halloween!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! I'm gonna be a stripper....like my costume?

Here's an Idea...

As I sit here and listen to the pitter patter of rain drops on my greenhouse window in my kitchen, I've decided to post one final response to her latest post which you can read here. And, I do have one thing to say...

If you're tired of hearing about it, stop reading my journals! If you want me to "leave you alone" then just quit reading my journals! That's all it takes. It's a simple idea really.

I would also like to add that I believe this whole mess was started as a means to an end. Not by me mind you, but by Alicia. This whole thing was a way for her to get out of a "friendship" that she felt either trapt in [although I don't know why] or she simply didn't have the guts to say it to my face; so she had to make up a reason in her head. But, at least I say it out loud, and unambiguous....although I suppose I'll just be accused of not being tactful. Whatever.

One last song to finish it all off...

Don't Go Away Mad (Just Go Away)
by: Motley Crue

We could sail away
Or catch a freight train
Or a rocketship into outer space
Nothin' left to do
Too many things were said
To ever make it feel
Like yesterday did

Seasons must change
Separate paths, separate ways
If we blame it on anything
Let's blame it on the rain

I knew it all along
I'd have to write this song
Too young to fall in love <~~more friendship than anything
Guess we knew it all along

That's alright, that's okay
We were walkin' through some youth
Smilin' through some pain
That's alright, that's okay
Let's turn the page My friends called today
Down from L.A.
They were shooting pool all night
Sleeping half the day
They said I could crash
If I could find my own way
I told them you were leaving
On a bus to go away

That's alright, that's okay
We were two kids in love <~once again, friendship (or so I thought)
Trying to find our way
Thats's alright, that's okay
Held our dreams in our hands
Let our minds run away
That's alright, that's okay
We were walkin' through some youth
Smilin' through some pain
That's alright, let's turn the page
And remember what I say girl
And it goes this way

Girl, don't go away mad...
Girl, just go away


Go ahead, and press it if it'll make you feel better. For some people I suppose a quick fix is better than the real thing.

Bitter Much?

Thank you Anne Taintor.

I surely hope that THIS isn't something directed toward me. Because that would just be the pot calling the kettle black now wouldn't it??

Except for the whore part, cause I'm not one of those. And once again, it's not being vain if you're right, it's called being correct. Dang. Eh, fuck it, if I'm vain then I'm vain. Whatever. Until it's actually cleared up [directly to me] I'm just going to be vain.

But I am happy for you, now you belong. Really. That's what you wanted since you got here, just to belong. Now you can sleep better at night....and what a coincidence, so can I.

Godless...

Today, while driving home from work, I was being annoyed by a big car (2 cars ahead of me) that was going approx. 20 in a 25. Already in a slow zone and he's going slow. But, being that it was Poulsbo (possibly the retirement capital of the Northwest!) I let it slide because I was sure it was some old guy.

When he finally turned a corner out of my direct path, I saw his vanity plate. It read...GODSEES

This bothers me. Not personally mind you, but for the man. Because truly a life lived in that kind of devotion to God, is a life lived in fear. And that makes me sad.

Time to Burn Some Bridges of My Own...

With so many ideas for my blog today, this one was just too good to pass up! For anyone who reads my blog and the saga of Alica and I, I'm sure you read the blog "I'm Sorry, So Sorry"

This is a reply to that post in LiveJournal, from an Anonymous person, who apparently knows her from Texas....

Their reply was:
Subject: Don't worry, Alicia has always been two-faced!!
She's always been like that. You know, She used to be best friends with Carl's ex and talked about how shitty he was for the things he did to her right up until she decided she wanted to date him. Don't take it personal. She burns a lot of bridges.

Now, I don't want to scare anyone away; I just thought it was interesting that someone decided to use the term two-faced to describe Alicia with no persuasion. I meerly said that JESSICA was two-faced. And weather you believe it or not, it's true. So maybe you should get over it, you know who you are.

In light of this new comment, I thought a song was appropriate. I just love to dedicate songs to people, especially when they describe them so well. This one goes out to Alicia....Here's lookin' at you kid!

Not If You Were The Last Junkie On Earth
The Dandy Warhols

I never thought you'd be a junkie
because heroin is so passe.
But today,
if you think that I don't know
about depression and
emotional pain,
you're insane, or your
a fool who hasn't paid attention
to a word that I say.

In a way, I can't
help but feel responsible.
I always knew that you were insane
with your pain.

But I never thought you'd be a junkie
because heroin is so passe
now a-day.
You never thought you'd get addicted,
just be cooler in an obvious way.
I could say, shouldn't you have got
a couple piercings and decided
may-be that you were gay.

In a way
I can't help but feel responsible,
I always knew that you were insane
with your pain
But I never thought you'd be a junkie
because
heroin is so passe hey.(repeat)

P.S. Blocking people only makes them sure of the fact that you are talking shit about them. If you really wanted to be "grown up" about it, all that wouldn't matter; and you wouldn't give a shit who read your blog/journal. I'm just sayin...

It's So Me...

My mom unwittingly sent me this in an email...if she only knew...



I know it's not entirely accurate, but it's in the region! lol

Perpetually Fat

This post is about something that bothers me day in a day out. Probably because I'm closer to it than anyone I know who reads this. However, there may be someone who is reading this blog that understands [truly] where I am comming from.

From the time I entered high school, I started to gain weight. And from then on it's been an uphill battle. I think possibly my body just decided to shift in a direction that was more "genetically pleasing" and I became pudgy. Having always been small (a size 9 was really fat for me when I was in Jr. High, now I double that number) this was a huge psychological problem for me. Not only was I entering high school, the dreaded domain of the cheer leader and reign of the preppy gods, but I was also gaining weight. In the years to follow it made me utterly miserable.

Turning to my mother for support, I got nothing. Well, I suppose I can't say nothing, I got all kinds of bribes. I've been told "if you lose weight we'll send you to Disneyland!" or "if you lose weight we'll send you to Hawaii!" Right, just what I needed, something to make me feel worse about myself, and remind me how bad I look in a bikini, or even shorts for that matter.

It was these kind of parenting skills that lead me to crash diet just about every diet out there, that I could eat. Being allergic to several foods, I wasn't able to do the grapefruit diet and the like. Also, the ones I couldn't possibly afford have also been out of my reach, like Jenny Craig. Not that I want to be Kirsty Alley or anything, but I digres.

I've tried the eat every 3 hours diet, I've tried cutting out all the carbs aka the Atkins diet, I've tried eating nothing but a bag of M&M's and a Diet Coke, and I've even done it the healthy way by exercising 5 days a week for an hour and a half and eating correctly. Also among these diets have been an abundance of diet pills, from apple cider pills to TrimSpa to Metabolife and even Herbalife. But all to no avail.

Recently I've been diagnosed with a condition that is caused basically by being of child baring age (20-40 years old) and overweight, and they have no idea why it strikes some women and not others. It's called papiloedema, and it can cause me to go blind. The long and short of it is I have too much spinal fluid and it's causing pressure on my occular nerves. But, luckily I've been able to be set up with a nutritionist.

Finally, I'm hoping that it'll be someone that will tell me what I'm doing wrong and or right, and get me the fuck off of medication. Honestly, I could give two shits weather or not I lose a bunch of weight as long as I can get off of all the damned medication they've got me on.

I was told that seeing a nutritionist wasn't going to be covered by my medical insurance; but I have a sly doctor. He changed the wording around for me, and viola I've got a referal to see a nutritionist at no cost to me! I still have to call the guy; so we'll see if it turns out to be a real nutritionist or some guy that says to me "you need to eat less and exercise more!" bla bla bla...been there done that, it didn't work!

And just in case you're wondering, I'm not a fat lazy bitch that sits around the house and eats everything in sight because she's bored and then wonders why she's so fat. I work 2 jobs that frequently keep me out of the house for 12-15 hours of the day. At which time I don't eat at all. I eat breakfast before I leave for my first job, and then if I'm lucky I'll eat something for dinner when I get home.

I just get so tired of being stereotyped into that category of people who are fat because they eat too much and are lazy. I suppose I do have society and the media to blame for that one. And I'm not trying to be a cop out, but could I just be fat because I'm genetically pre-disposed?

I'm happy now, and I'm extremely lucky that I found a man that loves me weather I'm Kirsty Alley fat, or Lindsay Lohan skinny. He'd rather see me happy and healthy, but he loves me and thinks I'm beautiful no matter what; and for that I appreciate him more than I could ever express. And slowly, I'm peeling back the layers of damage done to me by my mom and her misguided attempts to "make" me lose weight. But somehow I can't help but think that this isn't my fault. Not that I don't want to take responsibility; because believe me I'd be the first to step in and stop whatever action I was doing that was making me fat if I knew what it was.

I dunno, I'm just so tired of being perpetually fat.

Fucking Pumpkins!

So, if you're thinking about carving pumpkins this year it's a great idea...really. However, you had better get started because Halloween is only a week away.

That being said, you see that really cool white pumpkin at the top of my blog? That was a fucking bitch and a half to carve! I did it, all by myself, with no electric saw or anything like that. It turned out pretty cool if I do say so myself. But the roughly 3 hours it took me to finish was torture!

Those fuckers have like a 3 inch thick rhind! I got it all gutted, and cut only to find out that the pumpkin saw I was using didn't penetrate deep enough to make the cuts all the way through! So a lot of it was done with a steak knife in the end. But it turned out pretty kick ass! I can't wait to put a candle in it tonight!

Just in case you're curious these are the "real" pumpkins we did also...



Leo did the skull on the top and I did the dracula thingy on the bottom. It was fun; and a definate must for our Halloween tradition.

I love this holiday! Even if it does include stupid white pumpkins!

YAY!

Tom Smykowski: Well alright, it was a "Jump to Conclusions" mat! It would be this mat, that you would put on the floor, and it would have different conclusions written on it, that you could jump to!

Michael: That is the worst idea I have ever heard in my life, Tom.

Samir: Yes, yes, it's horrible... this idea.

Hop Hop Hop! This is fun! I think I'll patent it since I'm so good at jumping to conclusions....Weeeeee....

I'm too tired for this shit tonight...In fact I'm just too tired for it for a really long time....


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